Bill Nojay
No matter what anyone tells you.
There is no "getting over" suicide.
I know.
On July 9, 1993, my dad committed suicide in his bedroom while me and my mom were downstairs.
And more than 20 years later, there's still an emptiness in my life, and a pain which I can't put into words.
Friday morning, New York State Assemblyman Bill Nojay committed suicide.
Nojay drove to Rochester, NY's Riverside Cemetery, kneeled down at his parent's graves, and shot himself in the head.
For Bill Nojay's family, their lives will never be the same.
His wife lost her husband.
His children lost their father.
In the coming days, Rochester, NY's mainstream news media will join other news outlets to do their best to exploit Bill Nojay's sad end to his life.
In fact they've already started.
"Assemblyman Indicted for Fraud Commits Suicide in Front of Cops", reads the front cover of the New York Post.
Something about an upcoming trial Nojay was facing for allegedly defrauding a woman in Cambodia.
Some reporter for Rochester's Democrat and Chronicle trash newspaper wrote that Nojay was also about to face a federal indictment on other unrelated charges.
But despite what you may hear in the news about Bill Nojay, remember, he is no longer here to defend himself.
The truth is that except for my writing about him when he was quick to publicly defend Charlie Tan, an Ivy League college alumn who executed his own father with a shotgun, and got away with it, I didn't really know Bill Nojay.
But I know suicide.
And I know the pain and emptiness that loved ones are left with.
I live with that pain and emptiness every day.
Bill Nojay's family will never "get over" his death.
And the last thing they need at a time like this is to read and hear negative things about their loved one.
I don't really care what Bill Nojay did or didn't do.
I care about the fact that suicide is a very serious issue which is not talked about enough.
I care about how suicide destroys loved ones left behind.
Bill Nojay's suicide shouldn't be exploited of politicized.
Yet that's exactly what's happening.
In fact, interestingly, the federal government timed the unsealing of the indictment against Nojay to just one day before his scheduled political fundraiser, and just four days before the primary election.
Nojay, a republican, was running for re-election to the New York State assembly.
If I could give Bill Nojay's family any advise, it would be this:
Remember the happy times and special moments you shared with him.
My condolences to Bill Nojay's family.
And my sympathy to the Rochester, NY Police officer who responded to a call for a despondent person in the cemetery, and who witnessed Bill Nojay take his life, from just a short distance away.
Unfortunately, that officer will never forget what he saw.
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